Our BPD Community is no longer running as we decide what the future holds for Understanding Each Other.


The Borderline Personality Disorder community that once had got together and made a list of positive techniques that help us live with BPD. A lot of these techniques are broad and can be applied and used to help other mental health difficulties as well. We hope they will be of some help to you!



  • Mindfulness: Finding Peace in A Frantic World by Mark Williams and Danny Penman – an amazing book for anyone who wants to learn mindfulness. The book offers an 8-week course and guided meditations.


  • A New earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle


  • The Kindness Method: Changing Habits for Good by Shahroo Izadi


  • All books by Marsha Lineham who created DBT, her books teach how to regulate emotions, tolerate bad emotions, build relationships and ways of coping.


  • The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk


  • Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy by Jay Earley


  • The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide: Everything You Need to Know About Living With BPD by Alexander L. Chapman, PH.D. Kim L. Gratz, PH.D.


  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Joe Dispenza


Helpful Websites/Apps







Places to Go to For Help

  • General Practitioner (UK)


  • Mind (main info line 0300 123 3393) - check your local Mind for services.


  • Women’s Services


  • Care navigator (UK)





Therapies (you can never have too much therapy!)

  • Dialectal Behavioural Therapy (DBT) - based on CBT but it's specially adapted for people who feel emotions very intensely. The aim of DBT is to help you understand and accept your difficult feelings, learn skills to manage them and become able to make positive changes in your life.


  • Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) - mentalization is the ability to think about thinking. MBT aims to improve a person’s capacity to mentalise by focusing on what is going on in their mind and in the minds of other people and link this to understand and alleviate problematic behaviours. 


  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - focuses on helping you to change unhelpful ways of thinking and behaving.


  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) - uses Family Systems theory, the idea that individuals cannot be fully understood in isolation from the family unit—to develop techniques and strategies to effectively address issues within a person’s internal community or family.


  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – an interactive psychotherapy technique used to relieve psychological stress. It is an effective treatment for trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). During EMDR therapy sessions, you relive traumatic or triggering experiences in brief doses while the therapist directs your eye movements.



  • Emotional freedom technique (EFT) - tapping on certain spots on the face, hands, and side body whilst working through difficult emotions. There are tons of short ones on Youtube, but also a great app called the tapping solution, and many trained practitioners out there.


  • Psychotherapy - validating and understanding experience through linking it to the past.


  • Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) - a type of psychotherapy that involves a combination of cognitive therapy, meditation, and the cultivation of a present-oriented, non-judgmental attitude called "mindfulness." 


Other healing practices

  • Sound Bath a sound bath is a meditative experience where those in attendance are “bathed” in sound waves.


  • Reiki - is a form of complementary therapy relating to energy healing.


  • Transformational breath work - brings more oxygen to the physical body. Providing more oxygen to the body has been beneficial for many conditions for body, mind and spirit.


Things to do


  • Exercise - especially yoga!
  • Mindfulness art or art in general – you don’t have to be good at it!
  • Look after an animal
  • Volunteering
  • Being proactive
  • Forgiving yourself
  • Mood diary / journalling
  • Gifting
  • Reading
  • Listening to music – listening to a genre opposing your mood can be helpful. For example, if you are angry listen to classical, if you are feeling depressed listen to metal or drum and bass.
  • Soothe box - make the box fun! Filled with positive reminders like photos, things to touch like stress balls, things to smell like essential oils
  • Having a bath
  • Aromatherapy/massage – we hold a lot of tension in our bodies
  • Going for a walk
  • Getting out or getting away somewhere!
  • Water – going to the sea, lake or a river
  • Removing self-harm objects from room
  • ME TIME - treat yourself and do things for you!
  • Video games
  • Cook a nice meal
  • Routine - a balance of keeping yourself busy and having time to relax.
  • Scream into something!
  • Sing and dance around your room!
  • Writing out a plan for an emergency - for example a list of people to contact and instructions of things you can do to calm down, like things in a soothe box.
  • Breathing exercises to regulate the nervous system. 3-part breath, where you inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7 and release for 8 through the mouth. Also, deep inhale through the nose and long exhale out the mouth as if blowing through a straw.


Financial Aid (UK)

  • Universal Credit
  • Employability Seekers Allowance
  • Personal Independent Allowance
  • www.moneysavingexpert.com
  • Individual Voluntary Arrangement (IVA)
  • Go Fund Me (a few of us have found help for private therapy through this platform)